


On All Levels, I Am A Spider

by Yousaydoctorisaywho



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Iron Dad, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter is just trying to live his life, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Spidey son, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, cause why not, peter has all qualities of a spider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-24 02:07:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18160082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yousaydoctorisaywho/pseuds/Yousaydoctorisaywho
Summary: Peter nodded and grabbed a piece, not looking at the label. He popped it in his mouth and the minute he bite down, a look of pure horror and disgust washed over his face. His mouth opened and the blue, peppermint flavored gum dropped out of his mouth, falling to the ground with a wet plop.Tony wrinkled his nose in disgust and stepped back. “Yech, kid that was so gross-““What the hell was that.” Peter whispered mainly to himself, staring at the gum on the floor.ORThe fic where Peter keeps getting screwed over by things that hurt spiders





	On All Levels, I Am A Spider

-Lady bugs eat a spider’s food source

Peter’s eyesight was blurry as his hands turn to fists and he rubbed them, yawning loudly as he padded down the hallway from his room in Tony’s house. He had been working late on a project with Tony to the point where he was so tired that the second he tried to fire his webs they didn’t hit anything and to save his mentor a heart attack, he voted to stay the night. Signing, he rummaged through the cabinets before getting oatmeal and honey with a glass of orange juice. He sat down and groaned in annoyance as he got up once again to go grab a spoon. Returning to his seat, he saw that this time there was a visitor. Perched on the edge of his bowl, was a ladybug.

 

“Well hello there little lady.” Peter cooed, lowering his head to really look at the insect. “It seems that you’re trying to steal my food.”

 

Peter smiled softly when all of a sudden it moved and started eating his honey. Frowning he wrinkled his nose in disgust and felt a weird feeling in his chest. He felt... angry that it was stealing his food. Moving his bowl, the ladybug seemed to only follow and the minute he looked away, it quickly started to eat his honey. 

 

“Hey!” Peter whined, pulling his bowl away and watched as the ladybug was caught off guard and flew up and sat on the table.

 

He grinned and took a victorious bite out of his food but as he started chewing, his grin started to turn into a frown as it started to fly up and go towards his orange juice. A couple days later, Tony walked in to see Peter shouting at three ladybugs, all perched on his bowl of cereal.

 

-Spider’s hate peppermint

See, Peter loves food as much as the next person, and when he has eaten a lot, he chews gum to sort of trick his mind into thinking he’s still eating. With the powers he got, he needs to eat more than the average person and instead of using up all of May’s income and constantly bugging Tony, he chooses gum. He always chooses bubblegum or any other fruit flavored type, mainly because it tastes better and he’s always had sensitive senses so perhaps mint wouldn’t be the best option. Him and Ned were assembling a LEGO set in the Tower, planning a whole day of just being lazy, creating an entire city of LEGOs, and marathoning movie series. They were halfway through creating the Stark Tower when they heard footsteps down the hallway.

 

Peter looked down the hall and saw his mentor walking towards them. “Hi Mr. Stark! Thanks again for letting us stay here for the weekend. I completely forgot that May took on a bunch of extra shifts.”

 

Tony waved him away, wiping his hands on his towel, grease covering it. “It’s fine, kid. I enjoy your company. How are you doing, Ned?”  
Ned stared at Tony in awe, stumbling over his words as Peter laughed and answered for him. “Ned still gets shocked when you talk to him or even give him attention. You’re kind of a big deal, Mr. Stark, in case you forgot.”

 

“I never forget how amazing I am.” Tony said, ruffling Peter’s hair before grabbing a packet of gum out of his pocket. “Want a piece?”

 

Peter nodded and grabbed a piece, not looking at the label. He popped it in his mouth and the minute he bite down, a look of pure horror and disgust washed over his face. His mouth opened and the blue, peppermint flavored gum dropped out of his mouth, falling to the ground with a wet plop.

 

Tony wrinkled his nose in disgust and stepped back. “Yech, kid that was so gross-“

 

“What the hell was that.” Peter whispered mainly to himself, staring at the gum on the floor.

 

“Peppermint, what are you allergic or something?” Tony asked, grabbing a paper towel and picking it up.

 

Peter grabbed a water bottle from the table and took a swig, shivering. “I don’t know but I can tell you that I hated that.”

 

-Cats will chase spiders

Okay so this was officially the weirdest day of Peter’s life. It had started off fine, however. He was home and decided to do some daytime patrolling since he never really does during the day, but it was the weekend so he figured he would try it out. Swinging around from building to building, Peter kept his eyes on the ground, scanning for any mysterious looking situations. He swung through and perched himself on the corner of a building, peering down. That’s when he saw it; a man was running down the street, glancing behind himself periodically as two other people chased after him. The man quickly darted around a corner and started running through neighborhoods and that’s when Peter made his move. Kids could get hurt and he might break into someone’s house. Swinging down, he jumped from fence to fence, keeping up with him.

 

“Hey! Mr. Criminal, pull over! Please pull off to the side, right-“

 

“Meow!”

 

Peter looked behind him as he continued chasing the criminal. A cat had begun following them, chasing Peter. Now normally, he would stop and pet the cat but he didn’t have time.

 

“Not now, Kitty, I have to arrest this man!” 

 

Peter quickened his pace but there was another meow and soon three of them were chasing Peter, however they all had this hungry look in their eye... oh no. Cats. Spiders. Cats EAT spiders. Panicking, Peter quickly shot out a web and hit the back of the criminal and yanked his arm back, causing the man to be flung into the air and land on the ground beside Peter. Looking up, the cats had slowed down and were now stealthily walking towards him.

 

“L-Listen kitties, I will pet you and give you some cat nip after I just wrap him up in some webbing but I can’t play right now!” Peter said urgently as he quickly started making a mummy-like wrap around the criminal. “Now you stay right here and let the cops arrest you, Mr. Criminal, and maybe in the future you’ll decide to not steal!”

 

The guy rolled his eyes as Peter, with the three cats in tow, swung away, alerting the police of his prisoner.

 

-Smell of cedar

Father-son bonding is something Peter had not really thought about, but when he did think of it, all he could do was crave that attention. He wanted to play catch, he wanted to go and fix a car, he wanted to go to boy scouts, he wanted to have a dad ready to help him with homework, he even wanted to just build something with his dad... but he couldn’t. Yet, the more Peter thought of it, he began to realize that it wasn’t the case at all. Tony, his mentor, had continuously took him out to do those activities but he had never really placed the label of ‘dad’ on Tony; mainly cause he didn’t want to freak out his hero. But now, with Peter sitting in the center of his living room with Tony across him, an IKEA box separating the two, he couldn’t help but internally view this situation as the bonding he had always wanted. He looked at the instructions as Tony began to unpack everything. Yet, the minute that the wood came out, a strong odor of cedar filled the room.

 

“Oh-oh god what the hell!” Peter screeched, plugging his nose and pulling his T-shirt up over his nose. 

 

“Kid,” Tony laughed staring at him. “Why are you turning into a literal ball?”

 

Peter shook his head. “That smell, I can’t stand it.”

 

Tony arched an eyebrow. “I know it’s strong but do you hate cedar that much?”

 

Peter shook his head in a disgruntled manner. “I don’t know! My Spidey senses just told me to plug my nose.”

 

“Spidey senses,” Tony echoed. “Oh, cedar oil! People use that to make spiders leave their plants and stuff alone.”

 

Peter poked his eyes out and glared. “If you didn’t want me here you could’ve just said so.”

 

“Shut up Pete.” Tony laughed and grabbed him, ruffling his hair. “I couldn’t leave you if I tried kiddo. Now, how about I go grab a gas mask or something so we can finish this?”

 

Long story short, Peter now owns a photograph of him and Tony with gas masks, doing thumbs up in front of a newly built crib.

 

-Hate the smell of citrus especially orange peels

Lunch time at high school is always chaotic. It is the epitome of chaos, with different cliques sitting at selective tables, food being thrown, people shouting, students sassing teachers, people trading each other’s foods; just pure turmoil. So, there was Peter, sitting at the lunch table with MJ and Ned. 

 

“I swear, if Mrs. Lynn doesn’t give me extra credit for that project, I’m going to scream.” MJ growled, stabbing a straw through her milk carton. 

 

Peter chuckled. “You literally drew a political cartoon for a science teacher.”

 

“Everybody appreciates political humor.” MJ argued.

 

Ned shrugged. “You got a point there- hey, Peter, I’ll trade you my orange for your grapes.”

 

Peter just nodded, completing the trade. “I mean I wrote an entire essay about Stark Industries for my history teacher and turns out she was a huge science nerd and I actually got a good gra- oh goD. What the heLL?” 

 

Peter dropped the now slightly open orange in disgust as the citrus scent penetrated his senses. “Oh gosh that is strong.” Peter said clasping a hand over his nose. 

 

Ned, slightly concerned, grabbed the orange and threw it into a garbage can. “Pete it’s gone.”

 

Looking around warily, Peter carefully unclamped his nose and breathed in. He sighed in contentment. “Oh thank goodness.”

 

“What was that all about?” Ned said, trying to contain his laughter. “You literally, like, flipped out.”

 

Peter shook his head. “I don’t know- wait, Ned, look up on your phone if spiders hate citrus.”

 

Ned nodded while MJ arched an eyebrow. “Why is that relevant?”

 

Peter cursed under his breath. “Uh, I don’t know, just for fun?”

 

“Ah ha! Spiders hate citrus peels and will actually feel repelled by it and will leave to escape the scent!” Ned exclaimed.

 

Peter nodded and scowled at the peel. “I knew there was a reason I hate citrus.”

 

MJ narrowed her eyes. “Anything you wanna share?”

 

Peter opened his mouth but was cut off by Ned launching the peel, hitting him in the face causing Peter to let out a hysterical scream.

-Tobacco

The thing about New York is that people still smoke cigarettes. Peter doesn’t get it considering there’s been so many cases proving that it actually kills people. As he walked down the street, his backpack on, he noticed that there were a lot of people outside. He checked his watch and saw that it was around noon so everyone was outside on their lunch break; or in this case, smoking break. Peter cursed himself for leaving a little later than intended to go to Stark Industries and quickened his pace. He began to cough slightly and found that the smell and the taste of the tobacco was amplified as he walked through several clouds of it. He looked further ahead, still coughing and saw to his horror that there were more people smoking. He turned into an alleyway and took a deep breath, his eyes beginning to burn.

 

“Why *cough* does New York *cough* have to smoke so *cough* much?! Don’t they *cough cough* know there are spiders walking here?” 

He sighed and put on his suit so at least the mask would cover up some of it. He began to swing around the town and noticed that even though he was higher up, the smoke was still affecting him, causing him to cough and gasp for air. He saw the Tower in the distance and used his strength to send himself flying faster. Landing on the platform Tony built for him, he scurried inside and ripped off his mask, gasping and coughing hysterically.

 

“You good, kid?” A familiar voice called from the kitchen.

 

Peter held up a thumbs up as he coughed out more of that disgusting tobacco smoke. “I-I think so.”

 

Tony appeared behind him, putting a hand on the small of his back while his other hand gave him a glass of water. “No offense but you don’t sound good- you sound like you’ve smoked 80 packs.”

 

“Funny y-you should say that.” Peter said, coughing slightly before taking a sip. “I guess I left a little later than usual and was caught in the midst of all of New York’s smoke break.”

 

Tony wrinkled his nose in disgust. “That’s it; I’m suing all tobacco companies.”

 

“Mr. Stark, no.” Peter said with a chuckle.

 

“I won’t sue them if you call me ‘Tony’ just once.” 

 

“No.”

 

“Come on, just once.”

 

“No can do, Mr. Stark, I am a polite young man.”

 

“Yeah okay I call bullshit on that-“

 

“Language.”

-Baking soda and vinegar 

Science has always been Peter’s favorite subject. He loved experimenting and using different formulas and equations. It’s fun. It’s creative. It’s a challenge. So, call him disappointed when he finds out that the lab they’re doing in chemistry is making those dumb volcanoes from like third grade.

 

“This is so dumb.” Peter whined to Ned who was trying to contain his excitement.

 

“Aw come on Peter, it’s making volcanoes; with baking soda and vinegar!” Ned said with a nudge to his ribs.

 

Peter rolled his eyes fondly. “I just thought we would do, you know, actual science.”

 

“What do you mean! This is science! We are doing a cause AND an effect.” Ned argues back as they begin to line up their ingredients.

 

“Ned, you aren’t going to win this argument.” Peter said with a chuckle as he opened the baking soda, however, the second he did, he slammed the lid back down and gagged. “Ew. Oh, I hated that smell- gosh...”

 

Peter continued to make small noises of discomfort as Ned stared at him in confusion. “Peter? What’s going on with you are your,” Ned looked around the room before leaning in to whisper. “Spidey senses on high alert?”

 

Peter grimaced. “It May be, I don’t know, let’s just do this quickly.”

 

Peter took in a deep breath and opened the lid before starting to pour it into the paper mache volcano at the same time Ned was moving a small bowl of vinegar. Yet they didn’t time it right and the vinegar spilled onto Peter’s hand causing him to let out a yell of pain, the spot that was wet with vinegar now had an angry red rash. Mix that pain and burning with the smell of baking soda was enough to cause Peter’s head to ring before everything turned black.

 

“... Pete?”

 

Gosh what happened?

 

“Buddy I know you can hear me.”

 

Whose voice is that? Where is he?

 

“Peter I’m sorry, I had to call him-“

 

“Don’t be sorry, I’m amazing.”

 

Wait a second. Isn’t he at school?

 

Opening his eyes slightly he was met with none other than his mentor and best friend leaning over him, his classmates behind the two, eyes wide with wonder. He shut them again and groaned.

 

“I knew you were awake.” Tony chuckled. “Come on, Pete, you gotta sit up.”

 

Peter let out a sigh and let Tony help him sit up. “Ugh what happened?”

 

At that moment, Peter’s teacher appeared. “You passed out. We were doing the experiment when you let out a scream of pain and collapsed. Your friend, here, was supposed to call your guardian and Mr. Stark came. I won’t question it, but you should be taken to a doctor as soon as possible.”

 

Tony smiled. “Thank you, ma’am I will do that right now... oh, and as for the whole guardian thing, I basically am.”

 

Peter smiled up at his mentor. “Yeah, he really is.”

 

The teacher just nodded before telling her students to get back to the experiment as Peter and Tony left the school. 

 

“Ugh I don’t get why I collapsed; that’s so embarrassing.” Peter groaned as Tony pat his back.

 

“Don’t worry, kiddo, you just had one of those sensory overloads that you get a lot. I think spiders have some sort of sensitivity to it and maybe you got that along with the powers.” Tony explained, opening the car door.

 

“Well, the spiders can keep it.” Peter said grumpily.

 

Tony laughed as he climbed inside. “Unfortunately I don’t think you have much of an option, buddy. But what we can do, is check out that arm and your head and go eat some ice cream.”

 

“Why the ice cream part?” Peter said with a chuckle.

 

“Isn’t that was guardians are supposed to do after their kid gets hurt?” Tony said, his eyebrow arched but etched across his face was this look of uncertainty, as though he didn’t know if he crossed a line or something.

 

Peter smiled softly, instead and just leaned his head into his mentor’s shoulder. “Yeah, they do.”

 

Out of the corner of his eye, Peter saw Tony smile. 

-Dryer sheets

Peter hated laundry. Really, he did. He’s a teenager of course he is going to just throw his clothes on the floor and, hey, if it doesn’t smell it’s fit to wear! Peter glared at his now full laundry bag as he stood in front of the apartment’s washing room. He sighed and opened the washer and threw in all the clothes. He shut it and turned it on before heading upstairs. He went over to the counter in the kitchen and saw a package with a note. Curious, Peter held the package and saw the note: ‘Good morning my little larb, I got you some dryer sheets so your clothes will come out better. I still have trouble believing you do laundry! Love you lots and if you’re spending the night at Tony’s make sure you get up early enough for school; the commute is longer. -May’ Peter smiles fondly and threw the sheets into his bin. Around 45 minutes later, Peter scurried down and began the process of throwing clothes into the dryer. 

 

“So dryer sheets, huh?” Peter mumbles to himself as he opened the package and pulled one out before dropping it and sprinting upwards, clinging to the ceiling. “The hell?!”

 

The second he said that, his phone began to buzz. 

 

“Hello?” Peter said with a hint of annoyance in his tone.

 

“Pete?” Tony’s voice rang on the other side. “I got a notification that your heart beat increased super drastically. If it’s a teenager thing, hey, I’ve been there, no need to be embarras-“

 

“Mr. Stark it wasn’t that.” Peter rushed, blood filling his cheeks as he dropped from the ceiling. “It was.... uh....”

 

“Wow kid I think I just aged 10 years waiting for you to answer.” Tony sassed.

 

Peter rolled his eyes. “It was a... dryer sheet. I touched it and- hey why are you laughing?!”

 

Tony giggled again before answering. “I keep forgetting you were bitten by a spider and dryer sheets are one of the many things that get spiders all pissy. When I first heard you say ‘dryer sheet’ I was gonna have a long talk about drugs with you.”

 

Peter glared at the sheets as he ripped one out, letting out a tiny shriek as he did it, and threw it in. “Ugh I hate that feeling!”

 

Tony laughed wholeheartedly again. “Alright well once you finish your battle with the dryer sheets you can come over. We can build something or watch a movie. But Clint is visiting and if you don’t choose fast we’re going to have to watch Mr. Bean for the 500th time.”

 

Peter smiles to himself as he begins to head upstairs. “I’ll be there in 20.”


End file.
